How to be a good Heir

As a REALTOR, people contact me when there are big changes in their lives. One of the hardest is losing a parent. There are some things you can control in the process, some you can plan for & unfortunately, some you must simply accept & deal with.
In a perfect world, the property will be in a trust & may be sold at any time. If there is a will, certain procedures must be followed, but things can transpire quickly. If there is no will, stop now, go to court & make sure the property is physically secured, because it will take a while.
What I am trying to get at is, the person you lost needs to have made certain decisions in order to best protect the “estate”.
And this moves us to three separate ideas:
First, while many people don’t want to think about what the world will look like after they die, planning makes is easier for those left behind.
Second, once those decisions are made, they are the decisions of someone you love & respect. Unless their judgement was impaired or undue influence has been at work, the instructions are theirs.
Third, the courts & other authorities have specific requirements of what must be done with personal & real property at the time of death. Regulations & legal instructions must be followed.
So, how does this relate to being a good heir?
First, if possible, help plan before you ever have worry about how to deal with the court. Talk to a good estate planner and an attorney who specializes in wills & trusts.
Next, if you are the personal representative (a.k.a. executor), act quickly. Get good advise, file documents timely & communicate clearly with the heirs about what you can & can’t do.
If you are “just” an heir, support the PR. It is an unpaid position; it has difficult decisions & lots of responsibilities. The goal is not to thwart you. The goal is to follow the instructions in the will. You may need to help prepare the property for sale, consult in your own areas of expertise or be a shoulder to the party who has the unpleasant job of liquidating the assets of someone who they loved, too.   Arguing, questioning every decision or taking offense don’t help.  Fraud is rare; Don’t ignore the possibility, but don’t immediately assume that self-interest is at work.
Lastly, honor the memory. The things are great talismans, but they are meaningless without the story. Share the stories, nurture the relationships. Isn’t that what they would have wanted?

Consult your own advisors.  Please contact me if you want a great referral!